I was sitting with a friend, and sharing areas we were struggling with in parenting.

It was nothing crazy or unusual. In fact, they are probably things you are struggling with, too as a mama.

Disrespect, control, power struggles..

And I’ll never forget what she said.

She didn’t offer parenting advice.
She didn’t tell me what phrases to use.

In fact she didn’t tell me anything at all.

She asked me one question that sent me into an overwhelmingly intuitive reflection:

How’s her time with Kyle? (Her dad)

Right when she asked me that question, I knew that this was not only something that hadn’t been intentionally built into our family, and but I also knew immediately the profound impact it would make.

She went on to share about her one on one time with her dad growing up, and how as she got into her teenage years, and started getting attention outside her home, that none of it swayed her because she had what she needed in her dad.

I teared up recounting my teenage years, and how an absent father did the opposite for me. How I perked up at every illusion of love, attention and acceptance.

And while I believe having a loving and present father automatically and significantly decreases my daughters ‘chances of following the same path, I couldn’t help but think… I want more.

Fathers will reflect to their children what their Heavenly Father is like, how He loves, how He pursues, how He covers, how He protects, how He cares.

So that night, Kyle and I talked about that conversation, and he immediately said, “Let’s do it. I’ll start tomorrow.”

And here are a few things I learned from this one interaction and question:

• Moms, be open about your struggles. No one has it down perfect, even when you think they do.
• Moms, listen to your friends with love and honor. Don’t aim to fix. Ask good questions.
• Wives, share your heart with your husbands. God wired us differently and just because he’s not already doing it on his own doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to, or doesn’t care about it.
• Husbands, love your daughters. They will learn about God’s love for them as they watch you love them.