We don’t always want to draw with our kids, or play Barbies, or build legos…

But when we give an intentional yes to our children, we are almost ALWAYS blessed by fruitful conversations in those very moments.

And it’s not because the Barbies were so fun, or because the legos were fascinating. 

It’s because we are building trust & intimacy by creating space for connection to be developed.

And when that happens, we begin to see the fruit of a family functioning as it was meant to.

Because here’s the thing: As a society, we put a lot of stock in independence.

But on the altar of the fight to make our kids more independent, self-reliant and individualistic, lays God-given dependence reserved only for the family unit. We need each other. 

We were designed that way.

The family should be the strongest unit. It should ground our little people. It should be safe. It should be HOME – connected, united, and dependent.

So let’s talk about practical steps we can take to create those spaces of connection within our families:

1. PHONES
   Despite our best efforts at self-discipline, we know that phone is a freaking distraction. And you will NEVER look back and wish you spent more time on your phone. You will wish you spent it with your kids, free of distractions. So, give it up. Give yourself “phone hours.”
   
2. TELEVISION
   Technology is not the friend of togetherness. And because we want to cultivate a culture of togetherness, if it will not unite us, we don’t want it. So next time you’re tempted to turn the TV on for your kids, ask yourself how you can cultivate togetherness instead. Sit with them to engage, or include them in your own activity.
   
3. PRIORITIZE ACTIVITIES
   If you value time with your family, your calendar should reflect that. Let your kids see that time with them is important. Make it a habit to decline invites because they conflict with your family time, not the other way around.
   
4. TAKE BREAKS
   You can’t be available if you’re always available, so protect the time when you aren’t. Involve your spouse if you can– but even if you have to invest financially– an hour or two per week for you is worth it, because YOU ARE WORTH IT.

The most important thing is to give yourself grace, and remember that you are more than capable of stewarding this family you’ve been given.

For tips on how to transform daily connection through intentional rhythms, download the Family Guide to Counter-Culture Connection here.